Friday, February 7, 2014

Dear God,

It has been so long since we last saw each other. The more days that pass, the more I think of the things I could have done for you.  I do wish so many times on so many occasions that I wish you were here with me, by my side. 

I live in regret now, for the words that i said, for the actions that I did, and the feelings that I felt. I am so mad at myself. I feel like I hate myself more than ever. I don't know if I will make it through to the end of this month. 

I am not angry with you. Neither do I resent you.

I remember out late night ice-cream conversations, and on my worst days, it hits me at the most random times, like when I see a Magnum, or hear one of your favorite songs. I remember everything you said, how I felt, and I cannot help but be mad at myself for pushing you away.

I miss you so much more than I ever realized.